A most Pculiar Marriage
by Lynne Marie
Summary: The engagement is ending in two days and becoming wedlock. Knowing D, this will be a life wedlock. But the pets know D's heart and plot against his marriage as best they can. Do they succeed? Sequal to most peculiar engagement.
1. Chapter 1

Trouble in Paradise…

Chapter 1

Karuna was sitting beside D, wrapped in his arms. "So, Count," she asked as D was stroking her hair. "What are we going to do today?"

D smiled and gave her a gentle caress on her cheek. "We're going to spend the day with Chris while Orcot-San and Jill go on a date to….somewhere. I was thinking we could take him to see the musical 'Cats'."

"Well, meow," she teased, jokingly. D's eyes lit up with lust. He tried to gain control over himself. She was human….always will be.

D purred in reply to her meow and they laughed along with a gentle snuggle afterwards. Karuna liked the purring and nuzzled his cheek. "I'll take it you want to see 'Cats' with us, M'Lady…"

Karuna nodded and they kissed.

The Tetsu came and snuggled by the Count and the princess comefortably. Things were great, now that the Count felt complete with a partner, and now that that detective was never around all the time. Only problem was that T-Chan would be brushed aside by Chris when he had to choose between Tetsu and Yo-Ling, he would always choose Yo-Ling. And D would choose Karuna or that nasty detective over him any day too. It wasn't pleasant. But D was happy, something he deserved after many decades of sadness.

Q-Chan was perched pleasantly on the Count's shoulder. D was content, so Q-Chan couldn't complain. Sure, he was missing the detective, and Chris, but small price to pay for seeing everyone happy in their lives. Chris was starting to get interested in girls, Leon was starting to get interested in actual women, like Jill, but best out of all, the Count was giving up his unrequited romance for a realistic romance that was deeply requited. And he was happy.

Chris came walking in with Jill and Leon and he ran to hug T-Chan warmly who snuggled and cherished every moment with the little lad. Such a strange juxtaposition to see T-Chan friends with the brother of his greatest enemy. "Tetsu!" and they began to rough-house.

Jill smiled down at the two playing and then looked to D. "So what're you three up to today?" she asked. D told them about the musical and Leon rolled his eyes.

"Don't make my brother into being a fruit like yourself, Count. I want him liking girls!"

D glared up at him. "I'll have you know, Mr. Detective, that a little culture doesn't make a man choose their sexual preference. Certainly a small amount of culture isn't going to hurt. Oh, and by the way, I've been meaning to talk to you about this,"

"Bout what?" Leon asked, putting an arm around Jill's shoulder.

D sighed, miffed again, and not really understanding why. "About my free babysitting job for you as you're in your courtship with Jillian."

Leon scratched his neck. He was afraid of this…"I thought you liked Chris. And he gets along so well with your pets."

D put a defensive hand out. "Yes, Mr. Detective, he does get along well with them. But I was thinking, it's about time he gets friends around his own age. Like Yo-Ling. And if he's cooped up with me all day, the most he'll ever learn is how to be a gentleman. Which I'd love to teach under normal circumstances, but I'm to be married in a matter of days. Two, as a matter of fact. What I am trying to say is – "

Leon lifted a hand, "Count, say no more," he said. "You're right. We've been taking advantage of this and it's not fair to you, or Chris. Yo-Ling, eh? Hey, Chris!"

Looking away from T-Chan to Leon, the detective continued. "What do you say tomorrow you go to hang with Yo-Ling more often?"

Chris smiled and nodded then went back to playing with the other animals. "Well, Count, that's settled. Soon, we'll only come see you when the mafia gets on our nerves and we need to find them."

D's duel eyes glared over. "Oh, Orcot-San, you're all my friends. I hope to see you all at my wedding. I mean, you, Mr. Detective are my best man, and I really can't wait for the bachelor party. I'm rather interested in how you see I would enjoy my last night as a single man."

Leon had been planning a bachelor party, only thing was, he had the party set. Just no guest list. "Yeah, about the party," he said, "I'll need your help with the guest list…"

"You're serious?" D asked, "It's tomorrow night and you haven't invited anyone?"

"Not haven't invited ANYONE!" Leon defended himself. "I've invited you, and me…." And maybe a stripper or pole dancer or two….

The count sighed. "Okay, well, that's really all we need then. You wouldn't really want to meet the other friends I have. Either animals, or very refined, and cultured people."

Leon sighed. There went the Count's condisending attitude again.

Jill laughed. "Well, I hope you two have a great boy's night!" She glared at Leon and leaned into him to whisper. "We'll also discuss your surprise guests later?"

Leon leaned over to her ear and kissed the words questioningly, "Surprise….guests?"

Jill laughed again and pinched his ear as she took him aside. "Leon, you know as well as I that your average bachelor party would practically give D a heart attack!"

Leon shook his head. "Nah, he'll be right at home. You don't know this man like I do."

Jill sighed. She thought about it. What if he was more principled now that he had met his soul mate? If before he would talk about sex as though it were some vial thing outside of wedlock, how would he feel about strippers with eatable undergarments?

Leon sighed. "Relax, Jill, I'll leave all the panty eating up to the Count. None for me! I'll look, but won't touch. I'm taken by you, Sweets. Chill." And he kissed her cheek gently.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So what's on the agenda for today, M'lord?" Karuna asked sweetly as she kissed his cheek gently. D handed her an intricately decorated red velvet gift box.

"First," he said, "I wanted to give you this present. Open it, Karu!" As she did as she was told, she saw an egg. Not just any egg, but a firey red egg larger than the palm of her own hand.

She knew what this was. "Where did you ever get one of these, Count Sire?" she asked.

D brushed thoughts of getting the egg and fighting the mother bird aside as he told her, "That matters not. What matters it, I hold this egg close to me, my darling. As close to me as your hand," he took her free hand and place it by his heart, "is to my heart at this moment, my love. Now care well for this creature, for I shall not be held responsible for anything that would happen if you didn't. And if you fail to do so, I would much rather my life be taken than yours, my darling."

A tear coming from her eye, Karuna reached up to D's cheek and kissed it gently. "Now," she said, "What's on your plan for the day?"

D smiled his typical coy, mysterious smile. "I don't know," he said. "I'm being picked up in a police car and taken off to some mysterious location where only the detective knows what'll be happening in there."

Karuna's face flushed with anger. She didn't like the idea of the Count spending the night alone with Leon. She didn't know why, but with the way D looked at her when he was around, it made her feel like she was of less value. "Count?" she asked.

D took her cheek with one hand and held her close to him with the other. "Yes, Karu?"

"You-you don't….you don't love him do you?"

D smiled. "Oh, Karu, don't be silly, of course I love Orcot-San. He's my dear sweet detective. I treasure his company above my father's, for certain."

"What of my father's?"

"Aye, M'lady. Orcot-San is my dear friend, my beloved. He's the best man at my wedding. Now, we should be going our separate ways. We can't see each other again until the wedding day at the altar. You know tradition." He touched her nose with the print of his finger and kissed it. "Take care, my dear one."

…

"OKAY, D!" called Orcot as he honked the horn on his car. "I don't have all day, you know! And neither do you! We've got one night of freedom to enjoy left for you! So let's do it!"

D happily jumped into the front seat of the police car. "So what's on the plan for tonight, my dearest detective?"

Leon gave him a thumbs up. "Dude, tonight, you're gonna get drunk on something that isn't sake, you're gonna get pleased by women you don't even know, and then we'll work out the details later….in the meantime, let's jet!"

…

T-Chan smiled as he heard Leon's car pull away. He then turned to Chris who had snuck in with the help of Yo-Ling. "Okay, you guys, everything ready? We've got one chance at this or we're screwed, people! Let's do it!"

Chris grinned mischievously. "You sure they'll like it? I don't think Jill will be very happy with us after this…"

Q-Chan nestled safely beside Chris with his wings rubbing on Yo-Ling's hair a tad. "Dude, Jill knew this whole time, trust me. The assistant knows all of your hearts and hers. If she didn't know, why was she always winking at the Count when she left the two of them 'alone'?"

Chris nodded. "Good point. Okay, I don't feel so guilty now. Let's do it to it!"

…

"Dude, D….." a drunkard Leon Orcot called staring at D from across the table. "This is so typical you…just….relax for once, man. ……You only get….. married once, right?"

D looked at him. "I suppose you're right, Mr. Detective. Well then, here goes." He took a shot of hard whiskey and then coughed. "How do ya drink that……vial stuff?"

Leon laughed. "Oh, man, Count. You're obviously a light weight……….yarn't using that hoity toity grammar you always use so good no more…."

D laughed. "Heh, you must be right. The effect is pleasant…..taste aside…..is there a sweeter one?"

Leon sighed, "Always a chick at heart!" he flagged a waitor and ordered every mixed drink on the house. Including chocolate kalua. "Mind you, Count this my whole month's paycheck here, I can't pay for more."

A few drinks into the night, D was talking like Leon on a normal day, acting like him too. They were partying and having a grand time toasting D's last night as a single man. The lady dentist came to visit and she was wearing a black corset with her pleather thong and a whip rod in her hands.

"I understand your tooth aches, my dear Count," she said to D.

D grinned over at Leon. "Oh yeah, it's a bitch, it is. I could use a few things here and there to……end the pain."

She climbed on top of the Count. "Well then, sit right there and let me make this better for you." Shifting her body around into a 69 position she prepared herself to give the Count oral sex as he prepared to just enjoy it...but nothing happened for she was thrown off his body instantly.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" cried both the lady dentist and Orcot in near unison.

"Hey……try alieviating the pain on your knees this time, hun. Might be less painful."

Doing as she was instructed, she got around to shifting his robes aside and found his package when a man with long hair walked in wearing one of Count D's dresses. He had a big floppy hat on his head too. "I'm sorry, I didn't know this room was taken." And the man was about to leave when—

"Tetsu!?" the door slammed shut.

"Leon, we can't do this anymore…" D said.

Leon looked at the count. "Why not? That wasn't Tetsu, that was a person."

"No, Leon, it was an omen. We can't do this anymore. I'd like to go home. I'll walk, I don't want either of us driving, we're both drunk."

"Count, my place is right next door. Come crash at my pad."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

D was so tired when they made it to the apartment he was mumbling funny stories about his father and kept saying words like "ORCOT-SAMA!"

And yeah, thanks to D, Leon knew what Sama meant. Why the count was calling him sama, he could only thanks the booze for that.

Leon was winding down from his buzz, but D was still a little tipsy. When he set D on the couch, he stood, and began to embrace Leon. "I love you very much, my dear Orcot-Sama. I want you to know that."

Leon was quiet. He didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say. The count was a lovey drunk, he'd give him that… but was he a funny drunk? Only one way to find out.

"Hey, D, want a steak?" were the only words he could think of that would make the normal D act in disgust as he turns his nose away.

D put his arm around him and leaned in close to whisper as he was laughing. "I've never tried that, you know….I have always been curious."

Tempting. But Leon didn't want D to regret anything he did while he was drunk. "Water it is then. It's all I have for you, sorry."

"No cookies? No cakes? How does Chris survive?"

Leon thought about it for a moment and then said, "He goes to your shop."

D's heart panged in pain at that. His head was coming to and he wanted to thank Leon for a lovely bachelor party. But those words made him sit down on the couch and cry. "Oh my dear detective, how am I to do this?" he asked.

"What? Drink water? Sorry, I don't have sweets for you, you'll have to live with what I got, but –"

"NOT THAT!" D shot back. "How do I marry a girl I barely know when the one I love doesn't even know I love them?"

"Have you thought through telling them you love them?" Leon asked.

"Yes. But they're clearly not interested in…..my type."

Leon was agast. "Your _type?_ D, you have a type?"

D nodded. "Yes, I do. They call it effeminate and annoying…"

Sounded kinda like what Leon called him. Leon shrugged it off. Probably some kick ass hot chick. "Well, D, if you don't have the guts, maybe it wasn't meant to be."

"But I do…."

Leon sat next to D and he leaned on his shoulder sobbing. "Prove it?"

D looked up at Leon with his duel eyes piercing. He leaned in more and took his lips to Leon's pressing them gently but not tightly against the detective's. Leon felt rather natural doing this and so he maintained the kiss and embraced the Count.

What was he doing? He had a girl….no need to throw a guy in the mix!

D began to undo his vest and then he removed Leon's shirt as he kissed his neck, he began to kiss down until he reached his pecks where he licked each nipple around like he was tying a knot with his tongue.

Leon was enjoying this as he pulled D's face up, gently from the chin, and kissed D's own neck while undoing his difficultly woven robes. "Oh, Orcot-Sama…my dear, dear detective…"

Both naked before each other, D looked into Leon's eyes with fear in his voice. "Leon this isn't the spirits talking is it?" Leon shook his head. "Good."

They embraced and enjoyed each other's bodies and company all night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Leon awoke that morning, not remembering a thing. "We must have had a wild night, D and taken it home with us," he exclaimed. "Look, the women have left though. And they blame men for love em and leave ems….. PAH!"

D was humming to himself happily as he brought Leon a fresh cup of un sweetened, black coffee. "Here you are my dear detective." Leon was looking up at D with a goofy look on his face, as though to ask D why he was so calm and cool.

"D…." he started to ask. D looked up with a questioning glance. "Do you remember last night?"

D smiled and sat next to Leon. "Barely, my dearest detective," he said slapping his knee playfully. "And what I can tell you is: you're not as human as you say you are all the time." D winked one of his duel eyes.

Leon was lost. "Did we have like an orgy or something?"

D giggled. "Or something," he said and then leaned into the detective lovingly.

Leon would have none of that. He backed away from D quickly. "Hey, Count! What'ra doin!?"

D looked up to Leon, who was now standing, with hurt in his duel eyes. "You don't remember…..anything?"

Leon palmed his face hard. "I remember meeting the dentist then coming here…..I guess the other women came along…why, D? Something you remember I don't?"

D sighed with sorrow as he looked painifully at the police detective. "Oh, not much happened last night, Orcot-San," he said with a smile on his face. "You made me act more human than I ever have for the first time is all."

"What you mean?"

D's sleeves came up and bent beside his hands as he giggled innocently. "I believe you used the words….'light weight'?"

Leon laughed. "So I got the count to drink something other than Sake, eh?" D nodded. "Did you enjoy it?" Another nod. Leon patted D on the back. "So how was your last night of freedom?"

D smiled. "I could have never asked for a better bachelor party, Dear Leon-san."

Leon sighed. "It's your wedding day, so I won't bug you about that title today. TODAY ONLY!"

And the wedding was upon them. Not entirely what D was hoping for the groom and bride to be, but a promise was a promise, and he did love the girl. What he didn't understand was what T-Chan was doing last night making sure the dentist never got on his lap….

…

The wedding ceremony went on as D came out in a full wedding kimono to stand at the altar. When Karuna came in, all speech stopped and the whole audience, pets and people, stood.

Minister Yamato carried her down the isle as the wedding dress floated along behind her with each movement of her legs. The music caused the fireflies to dance around the guests as the humming birds sang their music for the crowd, but mostly for two particular ears in the area.

Leon kept looking over at D and winking when their eyes met. "Oh Orcot-Sama," D thought. "If only you knew…if only you didn't drink so much, you'd remember. I held you and told you I loved you and you told me you loved me..maybe you could be my groom today….

"Dearly beloved…"

At the reception D found himself engorging a little bit too much of the cake and other sweets. The vegetarian delicacies were special made to taste sweet or spicy, sometimes both…D sat at the wedding table with Prime Minister Yamato and smiled. "So, my lord, how does it feel to know you'll have my seed for sure now?"

The Minister smiled. "Count D, welcome to my family," the minister said, surprising D a tad. "May your children know the love you share with your pets."

D smiled. "More like the love I'll share with my beloved," D said, not saying the name of that beloved he was referring to.

The prime minister smiled. He embraced his new son-in-law and the evening went on with pleasure from all sides.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The honeymoon over, D and Karuna came back to the shop only to see Chris, Yo-Ling, and all the pets ecstatic to see them return. "Welcome Home D!" was written in a big banner on the wall.

D's eyes filled with pleased tears as he smiled at them. "Oh, you guys, this is beyond kind of you…" he said, a ping of sorrow at the fact that his ideal guest was absent. "Anyone see your brother, Chris?" D was feeling regret for what he had done that night of his bachelor party. He had actually, almost admitted it all up to Karuna when they were on their Honeymoon. He was so ashamed. He truly loved her, and now there were no doubts. He had taken both loves to bed with him and found he truly, deeply cherished his Karu.

"Oh, D, M'lord!" She took him into a deep embrace. "Why would you want to see the detective now?" D held his tongue in fear. He couldn't tell her the truth.

He could just envision it now, _"I slept with that dear detective, but don't worry, my darling, it's you I am in love with."_ Yeah that would go over well. He could see how well the embacy in Japan would take that if she told her father…

"I've been meaning to talk to him of something of dire importance, beloved," he cupped her cheeks in his hands as he pulled her into a kiss.

"Yo, D!" called Leon's voice, "we need to talk, ASAP!" he had anger in his voice. D knew what was up. He remembered…

"Of course, Leon, come with me and we can discuss this over tea. Just us men?" he glanced over to Karuna who nodded and smiled.

"I'll be waiting patiently, my lord," she said, swooning with her eyes.

Leon laughed as he angrily ran his fingers through his hair. When they were alone, he slammed his hands on his knee. "D, I'm not gay!"

The count sighed and smiled easily. "Is this the news you have been awaiting to tell me this morning, Detective Orcot?" D poured two cups of tea and handed one to the detective, adding three cups of sugar to his own.

Leon sipped the cup and spat it back out. "BLACK, D! You know that!"

D sighed. "I didn't add any sugar in that cup, Detective. Now, I suggest you continue with your words before I find you mad as all madness is clear."

Leon sighed and threw his tea cup at the way, shattering it to pieces. "I'm not your gay lover, and never will be, D!" he shouted. D had panic in his face and Leon hadn't seen such a look of horror since the night he came crying on his shoulder at the banquet.

"Leon, you must understand, I don't want you as my gay lover either. So no worries, okay?"

Leon sighed. "D, I remember your words, I remember your tears….what gives now?" Leon was confused. The night they made love-lust-D was crying about how he wanted to be fair to Karuna but his heart belonged to someone else….Leon!

Now, D was singing a different tune all together! He wanted to give Karuna the life he promised her. He was like a different man. "Look, Leon, the marriage has changed me. I made many regretful mistakes that night, and I suspect that Tetsu had something to do with some of why we ended up in your apartment, but that aside, it shouldn't have happened, but it did, and I apologize.

"I hope we can maintain our rival-like friendship with each other, but you must understand, my heart belongs entirely to Karu now. Not you at all. I'm sorry that night happened, it will never happen again."

D smiled and gave his hand a pat. "Whatever, D…." Leon said. Somehow, he felt as though he had just been dumped. He didn't care….he had Jill. She was everything to him, and Chris. Well, Chris loved D too, so what about that?

Jill walked in. "There you are, Leon," Jill called as she came in and grabbed the man by the hand. "How come I didn't check here first? I must have forgotten that D was coming back from his honeymoon today."

Karuna came in at D's side, like a good wife. "Jill, you should join us all for the banquet with the Minister tonight. Have comp tickets for you three. The Minister was very impressed with you at the last banquet and requested your name specifically.

Jill smiled and winked. "Always make a good impression. Especially with someone who has such good foods!"

Do smiled and held Karuna closer. "Well, Karu, let's get dressed for the banquet and go see your father. I'm sure he'd love to see you again after two months of honeymooning with your new husband." He winked at her and she grinned seductively.

Leon leaned in to nudge D's arm. "Dude, looks like you have a real animal in bed, if you know what I mean?"

D smiled. "You haven't the slightest idea how right you really are…"


End file.
